(Today’s chapter name isn’t a pun, but an anagram of the chapter title, “Nicholas Flamel”) Just in case you were thinking about developing your very own special mutant boob or other body part, I’ve made a list of pros and cons to having cancer. Here’s the pros: My work has an insurance policy that means I can take up to 2 years off work at 75% of my income, so I don’t have to report to Centrelink and I am…
(Original title – The Potions Master) The biggest mystery that surrounded cancer when I was diagnosed was who does what medically for me. I enjoy throwing words on a page and I’m feeling kind of queasy after chemo but not enough to sleep yet, so I’m going to talk a little about my team. First up is my GP. He is an important part of my team because he’s who I go to for the day-to-day health niggles and panic…
(Original title – The Journey From Platform Nine & Three Quarters) It’s been a while. I’ve got a lot milling around in my head at the moment, some things up my sleeve, and some other things that I’m sitting on aside from haemorrhoids (yeah, I didn’t realise those would be a thing). Basically, I’ve been doing a lot of introspection and trying to figure out if the way that I’m coping with everything is actually a healthy way to cope….
(Original title – Diagon Alley) So, things they don’t tell you about having cancer in the movies (which I’m sure varies greatly from cancer to cancer): There are so many appointments. There are so many tests before you’re even diagnosed. You don’t just go to the doctor and hear “fyi, you have cancer”. I had a really solid idea I had cancer after the first of my five diagnostic processes. I hope you like blood and needles, because this is…
(Original title – The Vanishing Glass) My particular cancer, Inflammatory Breast Cancer (“IBC”), is rare and it’s nasty. So I’m having four of the five options of treatment available to me: Chemo for 16 – 24 weeks (depending if I’m well enough to do a dose-dense treatment) Surgery (probs a double mastectomy – whoooo free reduction and tummy tuck to rebuild!) Radiation (and still no superpowers) Hormone Therapy (because a 33 year old needs to experience what menopause is like…
(Original title – The Boy Who Lived) So this will come as a shock to some of you – I have a mutant tit. Righty decided it wasn’t happy with its bigger mate Lefty having all the glory, so decided to get its grow on, and it figured “Hey, what’s the best way I can fuck with this bitch’s life plans? Let’s grow cancer!” The only apology I will offer for the next twelve months is this: I’m sorry you…